Soul Food - Part 7: Gratitude · Bread and Marrow

We live in a world that is constantly telling you that you do not have enough.

You do not make enough money, you do not have the right car, you do not have the body you want, your house is not big enough, and your job is not impressive enough. Scroll through any feed for five minutes and the message is loud and clear. You are behind, you are missing something, and you need more.

And it is a lie.

Because here is the truth that most people never stop long enough to see. You woke up today, God gave you breath this morning, the sun is out or maybe it is cloudy and cozy and the rain is hitting your window, you have a roof over your head, you have people in your life who love you, and you have eyes reading these words right now.

It could always be worse. Always. And the fact that it is not is not an accident. It is grace.

“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits.” — Psalm 103:2 (NASB 1995)

Forget none of His benefits. That is a command, not a suggestion. And I think most of us, if we are honest, forget constantly.

Gratitude Has Always Been a Part of My Life

I want to be upfront about something. Gratitude is not a new concept for me. I used to use a five minute journal where every morning I would write down three things I was grateful for and every night I would write down three things that went well. It was a discipline. A rhythm. And it genuinely made a difference.

But here is what has changed. Since coming to the Lord, gratitude has stopped being a self-help practice and started being a response to who God is. It is not a tool for optimizing my mental health anymore. It is the natural overflow of understanding that everything I have comes from Him.

That shift changes everything. When gratitude is about you, it rises and falls with your circumstances. When gratitude is rooted in God, it holds steady no matter what is happening around you. Because it is not about what you have. It is about who gave it to you.

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” — James 1:17 (NASB 1995)

Every good thing. Not some. Not most. Every single one. The recognition that all of it comes from God is what turns gratitude from a habit into worship.

The Science Actually Backs This Up

This is one of those areas where science and Scripture are saying the exact same thing.

A large meta-analysis of 64 randomized controlled trials found that people who practiced gratitude interventions experienced greater life satisfaction, better mental health, and significantly fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression. We are not talking about small differences either. Participants showed nearly 7% higher life satisfaction and close to 8% fewer anxiety symptoms compared to control groups.

Neuroscience research has found that gratitude activates the prefrontal cortex and the brain’s reward system, producing dopamine and serotonin. These are the same chemicals responsible for feelings of contentment and well-being. And here is what is fascinating. A study out of UC Berkeley found that the mental health benefits of gratitude writing did not show up immediately but actually grew over time. Participants who wrote gratitude letters showed greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex three months later, suggesting that gratitude literally rewires your brain the more you practice it.

Research from UCLA Health found that practicing gratitude for just 15 minutes a day, five days a week, for at least six weeks can enhance mental wellness and potentially promote a lasting change in perspective. A review of 70 studies with over 26,000 participants found a strong association between higher levels of gratitude and lower levels of depression. Gratitude has also been shown to calm the nervous system, lower blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.

God designed us this way. He wired gratitude into our biology because He knew we would need it. Scripture commanded it thousands of years before any study confirmed it. That is not a coincidence. That is the Creator knowing exactly how His creation works.

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 (NASB 1995)

In everything give thanks. Not just when things are good. Not just when the circumstances line up. In everything. Because gratitude is not a response to your situation. It is a response to your God.

The Hardest Season to Be Grateful

I want to tell you about a time when gratitude felt nearly impossible.

When I first moved out at 18, I was buried in credit card debt. I could barely feed our family. Maddy and I and our dog Stanley were living in an apartment and I was selling everything I owned trying to pay off the debt. I could not afford to go out. I could not afford to do much of anything. Every dollar felt like it had somewhere else it needed to be and there were never enough of them.

I was a lukewarm Christian at the time. Not walking with the Lord the way I do now. But even then, somewhere in the middle of that season, I had this realization. I still had a roof over my head, I still had my health, and I still got to wake up every single morning and try again. The debt was real. The stress was real. But the blessings were also real, and I was choosing to only see the debt.

It took me until I was 21 to pay it all off. And looking back, that season taught me something that I carry with me to this day. Gratitude is not about waiting until your life looks the way you want it to. Gratitude is about seeing what God has already given you right now, in the middle of the mess.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6–7 (NASB 1995)

Did you catch that? With thanksgiving. Not after your problems are solved. Not once things are better. You bring your requests to God with thanksgiving, right now, in the thick of it. And He promises peace that surpasses all comprehension in return.

Gratitude in Marriage

I am about to get married to the love of my life, maddy, and as I look forward to marriage and study what it means to be a good husband, I have learned that gratitude protects a marriage.

There are moments in every marriage where you get frustrated with your spouse. That is just the reality of two sinful people trying to build a life together. But here is what I have found. When I am frustrated with Maddy, the single most effective thing I can do is stop and remind myself of everything I am grateful for about her.

Her love for me, her constant dedication to the Lord and to me, her unwavering faithfulness, and her patience with me, which she needs more of than she probably expected.

When I actively choose to focus on those things, the frustration does not stand a chance. It is not that the frustration was not real. It is that the gratitude is more true. And when you remind yourself of what is most true about your spouse, the small stuff stops having the power it had five minutes ago.

“Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” — Colossians 3:17 (NASB 1995)

Whatever you do. That includes how you think about your spouse. That includes what you choose to focus on when you are annoyed. Gratitude in marriage is not ignoring problems. It is making sure you see the full picture and not just the part that is bothering you right now.

What I Am Most Grateful For

If you asked me what I am most grateful for, the answer is not even close.

I am grateful for the love of God, the chance to be forgiven of my sins, the chance to have eternity, the fruits of the Spirit He has given me, and most of all, the deep, deep peace I feel from Him.

I am grateful that He waited patiently for me. That He did not give up on me during the years I was running from Him. That He chose me and continues to choose me every single day despite being the Lord of the universe and the earth.

There’s nothing I will ever be more grateful for than that.

Not my health, not my relationship, not my home or my job or anything else in this life. All of those things are good gifts from Him and I am thankful for every single one. But the gift of salvation, the gift of His presence, the gift of being known and loved and forgiven by the Creator of everything? That is the foundation everything else is built on.

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.”— Colossians 3:15 (NASB 1995)

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. And be thankful. Those two things are linked. The peace comes with the thankfulness. You cannot have one without the other.

What Happens When You Lose It

I want to be honest about the other side of this too.

When I am not grateful, I feel it. There is a pull away from God that comes with ingratitude. It is not loud or dramatic. It is subtle and quiet, but it is real. When I lose gratitude, I start to hide. I start to pull back from God the same way Adam did in the garden. I do not want to come to Him because I know I have not been living with the posture I should have.

And every single time, the solution is the opposite of what I feel like doing. The answer is not to keep hiding. The answer is to draw closer. To cast it all on Him. To find the things He has given me and start naming them one by one until the gratitude comes back.

Because it always comes back. When you start looking for what God has done, you cannot stop finding it.

“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; who pardons all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.” — Psalm 103:1–5 (NASB 1995)

Forget none of His benefits. He pardons, He heals, He redeems, He crowns you with lovingkindness, and He satisfies. That is the God you are being ungrateful toward when you forget. And when you remember? When you actually stop and look at what He has done?

Gratitude is the only reasonable response.

Take a minute right now. Wherever you are reading this, stop and think about five things you are grateful for. Not the big theological ones, although those matter. The small ones. The breath in your lungs, the person who texted you this morning, the cup of coffee in your hand, and the fact that you are alive today and the God of the universe knows your name.

Now ask yourself honestly. Have you been living with gratitude or have you been living like you do not have enough?

The answer to that question will tell you more about the state of your soul than almost anything else.