Why Jesus Had to Come: A Realization About Self-Centeredness and the Gospel

The other day, I saw a post about someone who died - a friend had shared his picture with angel wings photoshopped on. It’s a common gesture, meant to comfort. But it launched me into a deep conversation with Maddy. Well, more accurately, I launched into talking at Maddy about what we actually believe happens after death, and more importantly, why Jesus had to come at all. (She’s patient with me when I get going on these things.)

The Comfortable Lie I Used to Believe

I’m going to be honest - I believed the comfortable version of Christianity for a long time. The one where heaven is the default destination. Where because God is love and Jesus died for our sins, everyone gets in. Where hell is reserved only for the truly monstrous: Hitler, serial killers, the obviously evil.

This view poisons everything. It’s a cherry-picked theology that takes “made in God’s image” from Genesis but ignores the harder truths. I believed it until I actually started getting into the Word daily - really studying it, as Romans talks about renewing your mind. And slowly, that comfortable lie started crumbling.

Scripture is brutally clear that a relationship with Christ - not just intellectual agreement, not just being a “good person,” but genuine relationship - is required:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21)

“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” (Matthew 7:22-23)

“Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.” (John 3:36)

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

Notice that last one. Many take the broad road. Few find the narrow gate. This isn’t the message you hear in our culture’s version of Christianity.

I still sin all the time. I turn back to my old ways constantly. But that’s sanctification - it’s a journey. The difference now is I’m actually on the journey, staying in His Word, trusting God with the results instead of trusting myself.

The Psychology Behind the Lie

What struck me during this conversation (while Maddy patiently listened to my rambling) was the psychology at the root of all this. The comfortable belief that we’re automatically good enough to stand in the presence of a holy God is fundamentally self-centered. It’s arrogance masquerading as faith.

The truth? We are sinners with a sin nature. None of us are good enough. The only reason heaven is even possible is because Jesus died for us, so that when God looks at us, He sees Jesus - perfect and righteous - not our fallen selves. Scripture describes this as Jesus “clothing” us in His righteousness (Galatians 3:27, Isaiah 61:10).

The scariest words I can imagine are Jesus saying “depart from me, I never knew you” at the gates of heaven. And here’s what terrifies me: that’s easier to end up hearing than we think. It’s almost the default destination. The world has convinced us it’s the opposite.

The Revelation: Why Jesus HAD to Come

I’ve always wondered: why did an all-powerful God have to send Jesus? Why His son, embodied in flesh? Why not just speak from heaven and declare us saved?

Then it hit me, mid-ramble to Maddy (who by this point was watching me have a whole theological breakthrough in real-time).

Because we are dumb, self-centered humans.

The entire gospel boils down to two commands: Love God more than anything. Love your neighbor as yourself.

If God had saved us any other way - spoken from the clouds, sent an angel, simply declared us forgiven - we would have remained self-centered. We wouldn’t have truly understood what He was asking of us. We’d continue living for ourselves while paying lip service to Him.

God, in His infinite wisdom, knew this. So He sent His son, embodied in flesh, to suffer. Not because God needed Jesus to suffer for some cosmic legal transaction. God didn’t need that. Jesus suffered for US. To give us something tangible we could understand with our limited human wisdom.

Jesus embodied the entire message:

• Love God more than anything: “Take up your cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24)

• Love your neighbor as yourself: He literally died for us, the ultimate act of putting others first

Jesus didn’t just teach these commands - He lived them perfectly. He denied Himself completely. He loved us more than His own comfort, His own life. He gave us a flesh-and-blood example we could actually comprehend.

I don’t think I can fully grasp the love God has for me - to send His son to suffer, not because He had to, but because I needed it to understand. The ultimate sacrifice, so His children could live with Him forever.

I’m crying as I write this. How lucky are we?

What Self-Centered Actually Looks Like

Self-centered living comes in forms we don’t always recognize:

• Building your identity around career success and recognition

• Making decisions based primarily on your comfort and convenience

• Attending church but never actually denying yourself anything for Christ

• Giving to charity but only when it feels good or makes you look generous

• Pursuing relationships that serve you rather than serving others in relationship

• Reading the Bible only when you need something from God

• Spending hours on entertainment but “not having time” for prayer

We mistake these for others-centered living:

• Being “nice” and polite (but never making real sacrifices)

• Posting inspirational content on social media (but not actually changing behavior)

• Donating money (but never your time or true comfort)

• Attending church regularly (but living for yourself Monday through Saturday)

• “Sending prayers” (but not actually praying or taking action)

• Believing in Jesus (but not actually following Him)

What a True Relationship Looks Like

A true relationship with Christ isn’t passive. It requires:

• Daily reading of His Word - not for self-help, but to know Him

• Genuine worship and surrender - hands up, pride down

• Behavior change - actually denying yourself and taking up your cross

• Prayer that’s two-way conversation, not just wish lists

• Community with other believers who hold you accountable

• Active obedience even when it’s uncomfortable or costs you something

I’m already trying my hardest at this. I will be for the rest of my life, because God is worth it. And here’s what they don’t tell you about “denying yourself” - it’s not just sacrifice. My life is better as a result. The fruits of the Spirit are real: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. This isn’t miserable. This is life.

I’m not perfect. I’m far from it. I sin constantly and turn back to my old ways all the time. But I know my Lord and Savior is forgiving, and as long as I maintain a true relationship with Him - not just intellectual agreement, but daily pursuit of Him - I have His grace.

The Warning You Need to Hear

God gave us all the cards. Jesus died to clothe us so we could even have a possibility at heaven. Then He gave us the Holy Spirit to live in us so we could always communicate and hear Him.

But most people tune Him out. They live their self-centered, comfortable lives. And they selfishly expect to easily get to heaven.

Let me be direct: most people reading this are not going to heaven.

Not because God doesn’t love you. Not because Jesus didn’t die for you. But because you don’t actually have a relationship with Him. You have a comfortable religious identity. You have a vague belief in a God who asks nothing of you. You have a version of Jesus you invented that approves of your lifestyle.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Do you read your Bible daily? Or just when a verse shows up on Instagram?

Do you actually pray, or just think good thoughts in God’s general direction when you’re in trouble?

Do you deny yourself anything for Christ, or does your “faith” conveniently never require sacrifice?

Do you worship with hands raised in surrender, or do you just consume Christian content like entertainment?

Are you actually different than you were a year ago, or are you the same person with a Jesus bumper sticker?

Most people will go to Hell. ALL of us would go to Hell if it weren’t for the opportunity for a relationship with Jesus. That’s what Scripture actually teaches. The narrow gate is narrow. Few find it.

Jesus didn’t suffer and die so you could live comfortably for yourself while calling yourself a Christian. He suffered so you could die to yourself and truly live with Him.

If you’re reading this and feeling convicted - good. That’s the Holy Spirit. Don’t ignore it. Don’t rationalize it away. Don’t go back to your comfortable life and forget this in a week.

The question isn’t whether you believe Jesus exists. The question is: do you really have a deep relationship with him?

Will you hear “well done, good and faithful servant” or “depart from me, I never knew you”?

There’s still time to get on the narrow path. But it requires action. It requires surrender. It requires actually pursuing Christ, not just casually acknowledging Him.

I’m already trying my hardest, and I will for the rest of my life, because God is worth it. I encourage you to do the same - not tomorrow, not when it’s convenient, but right now.

Because Jesus didn’t suffer so you could be comfortable. He suffered so you could be saved.

Don’t waste it.